The Best Day I've Had In A Long Time

In love with the color combo of these flowers from my walk

Yesterday was miraculous, but also nothing special. It was one more day that I didn't reach for the kind of foods that trigger my compulsion to overeat. Because of this, I was able to do one thing after the other, without falling into the alcoholic food trap that stops me in my tracks and sends me into a dark tunnel of self-pity and loathing. It was just an average day. I drove my son to school, did my program work, went for a walk, picked up kids, made dinner... but it was the best day I've had in a long time. 

What helped was taking the right action. Usually, if I have no appointments or errands, I get anxious before the day even starts. I stare disappointingly at that blank column in my planner and it it taunts me. It says "You're a loser with nothing to do." Then I stress over how I'm going to fill the day. 

But this time, with honesty and awareness of what kind of days are the most challenging for me, I took steps to build in a structure of program-related activities, like tent-poles holding up my day and my sanity. First thing in the morning, I committed to a noon meeting and texting my sponsor afterwards. I told her I would make an outreach call in the afternoon and listen to a podcast after dinner. I ended up making a few more program calls in the evening which served as my post-dinner grounding practice. That freed me up to engage in a non-food activity that feeds my soul instead of my disease-- playing, Animal Crossing. 

I need to remember how honesty, a little bit of forethought and program helped me turn a challenging day into an abstinent one.