Mug Love

When I first got this mug from a friend at my limo-sushi-dancing-regretfully-over-alcohol-fuelled 40th birthday party, I have to admit, I didn't "love" it.

Here's a gift-giving tip. If you're a woman just turning 40…

I Can Do Hard Things

While life on the outside is good these days-- very good, in fact--  in these pages, I make it no secret that with regard to my inner life/emotional life, I am experiencing a few hiccups.  So, after writing about embarking on a stressful speech therapeutic journey with my son, I was looking forward to a chill Monday night tennis class.  Compared to the angst I was experiencing over this speech stuff, I thought, tennis is gonna be a piece of cake.  Turns out, God had other plans...

The Lidcombe Anxiety

If I know one truth about myself, it's that with the exception of feeding and clothing myself and my children, there are very few things I manage to do everyday.  I don't even wash my face everyday.  And sometimes, (eek) I even forget to brush my teeth.

I am really freaking out right now...

Today, I Will Do the Thing That I Want to Do

For five months I've been doing everything but posting here.  I had lost something that gave me the courage, the boldness, the confidence to do the thing that I love to do, but often find scary...

The Tooth Fairy Did Not Come Because Mom Was Eating

My 7-year old lost a tooth yesterday, put it under his pillow last night, and when he woke up, it was still sitting there under his pillow, in the pocket of his tooth-shaped tooth pillow...

Hoffman

Shock. Devastation. Loss. Sadness. Raw talent, gone.  All of these things went through my mind the moment I heard about the death of one of my favorite actors, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Addiction.

I was devastated. The tragedy felt so close to home because of the issue of addiction.  I wanted to do something.  Anything.  But what could I possibly do?  What could I do to help make his passing more meaningful to myself and maybe someone else.  All I could think of to do was write.

The first time I saw him was in the 1997 film, Boogie Nights.  In this movie  Hoffman's character is rebuffed, after trying to kiss the lead character played by Mark Walhberg. I will never forget the the genius of that scene.  Hoffman's character banging his head repeatedly on a car steering wheel, chanting "I'm a f--in idiot, I'm a f--in idiot…"  The pain, the humiliation, the shame was palpable.  I think it was the most uncomfortable I've felt for a film character, ever.

more to come…

I'm Back, and I'm Forty

Here's a pretty sunset for you, taken outside my front door this week. 

It makes sense to me that the last time I posted here was at the end of October, 3 months ago-- because that's about the last time I really felt "right" with food.  Since then, I've been adrift in a sea of Halloween candy, cupcakes that I felt entitled to because it was my birthday and series of other junk binges I convinced myself I needed so that I didn't have to feel.