Anchors

Today, I have eight solid days of abstinence from my newest, deadliest binge foods. I call them the "lesser" salty binge foods, but almost a year of repeated relapse because of them proves they can take me down just like any of my other alcoholic foods. This is me getting completely honest in my quest for entire abstinence. I don't just want to say I'm abstinent, I want to feel that way, too. 

I feel good today, but I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. What I can say is that eating this way-- abstaining from pretzels, tortilla chips, popcorn, enriched crackers like Ritz and Goldfish, Omega trail mix, craisins and raisins has so far kept me from snacking/binging in between meals because those are the foods I've been snacking/binging on. 

I reference page 135, or the May 14th reading from For Today.

He that is too secure is not safe. --Thomas Fuller / Whether I have been abstinent twelve hours or twelve years, I never have it made. Today's recovery is all I have... The one-day-at-a-time philosophy of OA is insurance against complacency. It guards against my projecting anything beyond this 24 hours. I know I am abstinent today, but I cannot tell what I will do tomorrow. That is the attitude that keeps me gratefully abstinent... I have no need to plan tomorrow's abstinence or weight loss. 

These posts feel like anchors to me. Concrete evidence of my conscious choice to put myself out there into the world. I'm claiming a space, speaking up regardless of the intrusive swirling doubts and fears. In doing so, I feel more grounded in my purpose to say my truth. Come to think of it, my 8 days also feel like anchors.