Sunday, November 9, 2014

After 4 Months of non-blogging

I'm putting up this picture I took over the summer to remind myself to be open to the beauty of new things.  Sometimes the openness applies to old things too-- like writing in this here blog.

After four months of not posting, it's so easy to just keep on not posting, to remain in the void, keep the status quo, continue closing off.  Today, my victory is breaking out. Writing today just to write because I'm tired of not writing.  So, thanks for obliging, dear blog.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Mug Love

When I first got this mug from a friend at my limo-sushi-dancing-regretfully-over-alcohol-fuelled 40th birthday party, I have to admit, I didn't "love" it.

Here's a gift-giving tip. If you're a woman just turning 40…

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

I Can Do Hard Things

While life on the outside is good these days-- very good, in fact--  in these pages, I make it no secret that with regard to my inner life/emotional life, I am experiencing a few hiccups.  So, after writing about embarking on a stressful speech therapeutic journey with my son, I was looking forward to a chill Monday night tennis class.  Compared to the angst I was experiencing over this speech stuff, I thought, tennis is gonna be a piece of cake.  Turns out, God had other plans...

Monday, June 30, 2014

The Lidcombe Anxiety

If I know one truth about myself, it's that with the exception of feeding and clothing myself and my children, there are very few things I manage to do everyday.  I don't even wash my face everyday.  And sometimes, (eek) I even forget to brush my teeth.

I am really freaking out right now...

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Today, I Will Do the Thing That I Want to Do

For five months I've been doing everything but posting here.  I had lost something that gave me the courage, the boldness, the confidence to do the thing that I love to do, but often find scary...

Saturday, June 28, 2014

The Tooth Fairy Did Not Come Because Mom Was Eating

My 7-year old lost a tooth yesterday, put it under his pillow last night, and when he woke up, it was still sitting there under his pillow, in the pocket of his tooth-shaped tooth pillow...

Friday, February 7, 2014


Shock. Devastation. Loss. Sadness. Raw talent, gone.  All of these things went through my mind the moment I heard about the death of one of my favorite actors, Philip Seymour Hoffman.


I was devastated. The tragedy felt so close to home because of the issue of addiction.  I wanted to do something.  Anything.  But what could I possibly do?  What could I do to help make his passing more meaningful to myself and maybe someone else.  All I could think of to do was write.

The first time I saw him was in the 1997 film, Boogie Nights.  In this movie  Hoffman's character is rebuffed, after trying to kiss the lead character played by Mark Walhberg. I will never forget the the genius of that scene.  Hoffman's character banging his head repeatedly on a car steering wheel, chanting "I'm a f--in idiot, I'm a f--in idiot…"  The pain, the humiliation, the shame was palpable.  I think it was the most uncomfortable I've felt for a film character, ever.

more to come…

Friday, January 31, 2014

I'm Back, and I'm Forty

Here's a pretty sunset for you, taken outside my front door this week. 
It makes sense to me that the last time I posted here was at the end of October, 3 months ago-- because that's about the last time I really felt "right" with food.  Since then, I've been adrift in a sea of Halloween candy, cupcakes that I felt entitled to because it was my birthday and series of other junk binges I convinced myself I needed so that I didn't have to feel.