Tuesday, November 13, 2012

In the Food

I cancelled a get-together with two people today, which had the potential to become a business relationship-- and all because I wasn't in the mood to be social.
I was the one who set up the appointment last week.  I was all "into it" then.  But today, I was too busy feeling bad about myself to find the energy to clean up the house, pull myself together and have them over.

It even crossed my mind that I shouldn't be in this business, but now writing this down, I think it's clear... the problem is not the business per say, but me and my diseased thinking.

I've kinda spent the last few weeks "in the food." And I haven't felt comfortable posting about it.  Too personal.  But now I'm thinking, this is it, man.  This is the stuff I need to write about. This is what I need to get out of my head.  The irony of this is, back in September, during a brief period where I had my head on straight, I wrote the following:

Writing keeps me present. Accountable. It keeps me grounded. Writing gets all the crap of the day and my thoughts about it out of my head.  I have learned that if I don't do this, I will eat over it.  It's as simple as that. This blog is an exercise for me.  As long as I keep writing I have hope for recovery.

Duh!  So what happened?  Life happened.  And I chose not to write about it.

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