Thursday, August 8, 2013

Can't do another diet

It is my opinion that for most of us with lifelong (or at least adulthood-long) battles with our weight-- that it isn't due to the lack of awesome information out there about diet and exercise programs that all work if you do them-- but rather...
the problem is in our ability to:

1. Do them and follow through with eating that is vastly different from the way we want to eat or believe we should be able to eat.

2. When the diet or program is over, to adeptly incorporate those eating behaviors into a routine that we can do for the rest of our lives.

So why am I not able to do this?  Because I am a compulsive overeater.  I have a disease of a physical, emotional and spiritual nature.  My brain just doesn't work logically and reasonably around food.  I can go on diets, take on an exercise program for a number of weeks and see results, but as soon as the program ends, I'm lost.

I put together pictures of my weight loss/gain roller coaster from my senior year in high school through present day... and I have photo documentation of 10 time periods where I gained back weight after I had lost it.  The album goes, chubby, thinner, chubby, thinner, and so on.  It's actually kind of amusing if I don't think about the abject pain, humiliation and hopelessness I felt after each period of weight gain.  It's insanity.

This, I cannot do anymore.

The path I am on today is vastly different.

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